Choosing your Mortuary
Knowing Who to call at the Moment of Death
You have just been told your loved one is dying soon, maybe even within hours or minutes. You didn’t expect it, or you did, but thought you had more time. And now the nurses are asking…who is your Mortuary? My what? Many people don’t even know who that is, let alone know they need one.
The nurses hand you a black and white wrinkled photocopied list with over 50 names on it. It feels random. Do you just close your eyes and drop your finger on a line?
Your stunned, heartbroken, overwhelmed, numb…and now you’re feeling rushed. You find yourself thinking I’ll find one myself…I am resourceful. So you spend a fat minute on your lap top or iphone flipping through google looking to see what mortuaries appear at top of your search. Checking with trembling fingers you swipe to read the finer print. Who is local? Who is open? Do they align with our spiritual beliefs? And, of course, what are their rates?
Are they a ‘mom and pop shop’ or a huge franchise? Do they answer the phone at 3am? Who answers the phone at 3am anyway? And a really gnawing question…how much does this cost? What’s included in the complete package? What about a la carte services?
It doesn’t feel like the time to comparison shop and yet you have to make a choice…and you have to make it quick. How do you pick? Do you look for a name you like, an auspicious sign in their ad image, a certain color, a phrasing in their text that tells you…hey they feel like my people. This feels like a right choice, these might be the right people that I am hiring to come and pick up my loved one, transport them and care for them over the next sacred days until we can move into the funeral arrangements.
It’s stressful. Do you keep looking, keep shopping…or do go back to the hospital bed and check on your mother, father…your loved one? Your torn and this is not what you had expected to be dealing with.
The moment of death is not the time to be googling or yelping for a mortuary.
These final moments are full enough. Full of caring for your loved one, holding your loved one’s hand and saying goodbye.
Time matters, presence matters, the end really matters, and it is going to be what you return to over and over again long after they are gone.
There is a better way. You can be free to love and show up for this moment.
You can plan in advance and you can have you and your family ready for this moment when it comes. You can have a name, a number…and you can rest assured that everything has been taken care of on that end by someone you trust, someone, someone who you have connected with, and represents your values and beliefs. Someone who is available day or night and has promised to support you through this very emotional time. Someone who is offering the services that you value at the price you have thought out and agreed to well in advance. You can be ready.
Don’t let this moment take you away from living and dying in the moment.
CHOOSE your MORTUARY long before you need it.